Thursday, October 1, 2009
Week 4 10/01/2009 Intro 1 of cause essay- revision #2
Up until today, I would have sauntered into my garden wearing my favorite pair of Capri pants and a tank top. Today, I am darting around sporting work clothes. My husband is quick to comment, however, that I make no fashion statement this morning. I am equally quick to remind him, I am on a mission today, not a runway. As I walk past him, I look over my shoulder and say, "Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work." "Thank you, Mr.Thomas Edison," I quip. My overalls have over-sized front and back pockets which today accomodate several Hefty trash bags, some tools, a water bottle, keys and twine. I admit, I do look like I am wearing saddle bags. My work gloves and a trowel are in the bucket I am carrying. Years of experience has taught me to plan ahead, bring what I think I will need and then some, and most importantly dress comfortably. It has proven to save time and energy and prevent skin rashes as well. How I look today will have to take second fiddle to what my garden will look like for the remainder of this season and next Spring.
I hope the first three sentences hook the reader-using the word "different" in the second sentence? I tried to develop the hook with conversation and a quote. My basic idea is my clothing and I want to prove/explain why I am wearing what I do wear while working in the garden at the end of the summer sseason. Feedback, please.
Week 4 9/25/2009 Reaction to some of the sample cause essays Graf #8
I enjoyed reading the sample cause essays . They did what a cause essay should do. Each one immediately had me "hooked." I read and re-read several looking for the "hook", how it was developed, and the "proof" in each one. I wrote my intro paragraph to a cause essay, Then,I went back to see if I clearly had a "hook", did I develop it, and will my reader know what the idea of this essay will be about. Then , I did some editing. Revision #2 is the result.