Monday, October 19, 2009

Week 7 (10-19-2009) Revised ESSAY #3 CONTRAST ESSAY

Every summer, since the third grade, Carolyn and her best friend Mary would attend Summer Day Camp together at the Auburndale Playground. They both enjoyed being out of doors, were active, and enjoyed the variety of games and events the park had to offer. It always puzzled the counselors, however, that the girls never seemed to participate in the same activities together. However, once you observed the girls engaged in what they did choose to do,it was evident Mary and Carolyn had different personalities, temperments, and style from one another.

2 comments:

  1. Speaking as a writer, not as a teacher now: you've lost the juice those earlier intros had. Juice that's too valuable and precious to waste.

    Still speaking as a writer: write the essay you want to write about summer camp, games, friends, Newton, and so on. If contrasts appear, fine. If they don't, also fine.

    Speaking now as the teacher: I agree with whatsisname above. I'm not worried that you need practice in sandwich essay formatting. Go ahead and suit yourself and it will probably suit me. If it doesn't, I'll work with what you've provided to help make it as strong an essay as possible, but I promise I won't turn around and say, "Where's my contrast essay?"

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  2. I will be working on it.
    I looked over the sample essay (town planning board) and it had five sentences. I thought my essays might be getting too long so I cut back in writing this one. Ouch! I think I may have cut back too much here.
    Again, thank you for being considerate and working with me here.

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